Personal Thoughts on Home and Identity

(This makes me smile.)

I’ve really enjoyed reading individual perspectives and the different theories about home and identity.  For years I’ve been a fervent believer that my home is an extension of who I am as a person.  Many of you may agree that your home is a place where you feel a sense of identity and ownership, be it the entire dwelling or certain spaces within, and this is something that I’ve often felt I needed in life.  My idea of home and identity hasn’t changed much over the years, but I am beginning to notice a slight shift in ideals.  My best example of this is my lay-off in late 2008.  I was laid off from my full-time design position and, six months later, forced to pack my belongings and move back into my parent’s home in Augusta, GA, some 2.5 hours away, for lack of funds and options.  This was the first time I’d been under their roof since 2004 and it was quite the transition. Though, admittedly, not the end of the world.

Despite being back in the room where I had lived for over a decade growing up, I didn’t feel any ownership whatsoever.  I was in the same room, but it had changed a lot since I lived there.  At the same time, I felt like I had no right to change my environment to feel more like “me” because it wasn’t my home.  I kept up this attitude for a few months – until finally caving and replacing my mother’s framed photographs with some of my art.   I made a few small alterations beyond that, but still couldn’t get the place to feel like home for me.  Perhaps this is because, deep down, I knew it was only temporary.  Perhaps it’s also because many of my belongings remained packed away in boxes in the garage because there was no where to put them. I was using a dresser that didn’t belong to me, a nightstand that I gave away years ago, and sleeping on a bed that also wasn’t mine.  The main piece of furniture that I owned in the room was my desk.  Still, I had privacy and, if I really wanted to, I could change my surroundings.  My mother would have understood completely.

Today, I’m in a similar situation.  I was accepted into SCAD-Atlanta a mere 3.5 weeks before the quarter started and failed to find a home of my own in time.   Sometimes things happen a lot faster than you want them to! Once again, I am residing somewhere temporarily.  This time, however, I don’t even have my own room…  I now have limited privacy, absolutely zero control over the appearance of my environment, and even less of my belongings with me.  Still, I have my desk and computer.

In some ways I have to agree with Barry S. Fogel who writes in his “Psychological Aspects of Staying at Home” that there are specific benefits of home, including: independence, privacy, and control over physical features of the home environment.  When I made my move back to my parent’s home, I also felt that I had lost my benefits related to Atlanta – including my social network of friends, access to interior design events and certain communities that just didn’t exist in Augusta, Ga.  Now that I have returned to Atlanta, I’ve regained those benefits, but lost some essential basics of privacy and control.

At the same time, however, through this experience I can also feel my perspective shifting.  I like the essay “Home: Territory and Identity” by J. Macgregor Wise, particularly the statement: “Home is not an originary place from which identity arises.  It is not the place we ‘come from;’  it is a place we are.  Home and territory: territory and identity.”  It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen all of my belongings.  I often forget what’s really packed away in those boxes.  I wonder if, when I finally have a place of my own again and am unpacking my boxes, if I will still feel a connection to my possessions or not. Or, will I not feel a connection to my new home until my belongings are unpacked and with me?

Sources:

Fogel, Barry S. (1992, Spring) Psychological Aspects of Staying at Home. Generations 16(2), 15-19.

Wise, J.M. (2000). Home: Territory and Identity. In M. Taylor and J. Preston (Eds) (2006) Intimus: Interior Design Theory Reader. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.

[Image: Bob’s Your Uncle]

Filed under: Environment, Home, Indentity, interior design, Territory